


These Days (They Make Me Feel So Small)

by FinnsKeeper



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Empire Kids, Empire Siblings - Freeform, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:47:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25623142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FinnsKeeper/pseuds/FinnsKeeper
Summary: “It’s my birthday.”Of all of the things he’d expected her to say, that possibility hadn’t even crossed his mind. It took him a few seconds to process, to make sure he’d heard her correctly. “Your...birthday?”“Yup. Tomorrow.”“And you are...upset about it?”Tumblr Prompt: "Caleb helps Beau experience her first true "happy birthday" since she met the Mighty Nein."
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett & Caleb Widogast
Comments: 8
Kudos: 202





	These Days (They Make Me Feel So Small)

Days off were rare for the Nein, and even more rare were days with no impending doom on the horizon. For once in Caleb’s long and perfect memory, they had absolutely nothing to do. He’d been in the library of the Xhorhaus for almost a full two days before Veth came to retrieve him for “family dinner night.”

“I do not remember this tradition?” 

“It was Jessie’s idea,” Fjord announced as Caleb crossed the threshold into the dining room. The two long tables had been pushed together to form a large rectangle, and an odd assortment of benches and chairs were placed haphazardly around it. Yasha and Caduceus were already seated at one end chatting about bone-related musical instruments while Jester finished dropping the last of the plates on the table. A mishmash of food items dotted the space, from fresh vegetables from Caduceus' garden to a large hunk of boar Fjord had bartered off of a butcher earlier that day. Caleb plucked a small carrot-type vegetable from a center plate and popped it in his mouth as he sat between Caduceus and Veth.

“Where is Beauregard?”

“In our room,” Jester sighed. “She’s been...mopey.”

“Mopey?” Caleb echoed.

Jester nodded. “Uh huh. All day. Something’s bothering her but she won’t talk about it.” 

Caduceus cleared his throat and turned from his conversation with Yasha. “Well, perhaps a good meal will sort her out.”

“Right.” Jester waved her hand in a familiar pattern and Caleb groaned as Fjord dutifully held up his hands to count her words. “ _Hey Beau, it’s Jester. Dinner is ready and we’re all down in the dining room waiting for you because it’s Family Dinner Night._ ” Fjord waggled two fingers expectantly, a wry grin on his face. “ _You pooping?_ ” There was a moment of pause, then Jester’s smile faded. “Man, she is _super_ grumpy today.”

“What did she say?” Fjord asked.

“She said she isn’t hungry and to leave her alone. And she didn’t even laugh at my poop joke.” Jester’s expression was rapidly descending into a frown.

“That is serious,” Veth agreed. 

Caleb collected a few different helpings of food onto his plate and stood. “I will go talk to her.” 

He left his family to their meal and climbed the stairs to the second floor. Jester and Beau’s room was just next to Fjord’s at the beginning of the hall on the left, and as he reached the landing he eyed the closed door warily. He wasn’t sure what had possessed him to volunteer to retrieve their absent monk; if she was in a foul mood he was the most likely to take damage from any wayward flurry of fists. But something about the memory of the frown on Jester’s face was enough to steel his resolve and he balanced the plate of food in one hand and knocked with the other.

There was no answer from within, and after a second try with no response he opened the door. The door to the patio that connected the three northernmost rooms was ajar, and a cool night breeze wafted the curtains on the window nearby. Beyond he could see only a sliver of the perpetually night sky of Rosohna and the dark railing of the balcony. There was no movement that he could see, but Beau had recently begun diving deeper into the meditative aspects of her training. He set the food down on her nightstand and walked over to the door to peek through.

Beau was not meditating, as he’d initially guessed. She was standing on the far side of the balcony, arms crossed on the railing as she gazed out at the city. Despite her stillness, he could see the tension that corded the muscles in her back and shoulders. Realizing that walking up to her now would probably result in him getting punched in the face, he snapped his fingers quietly and summoned his familiar. Frumpkin appeared on the rail next to Beau, but she didn’t react beyond glancing at him briefly and sighing. Caleb instructed him to approach her slowly, and the small cat purred loudly as he bumped his head against her arm.

“I know you’re there,” Beau sighed, reaching out to scratch behind Frumpkin’s ears. “I told Jester to leave me alone.”

Caleb stepped a bit further onto the balcony. “I am not Jester.”

She glared at him, an effect that was somewhat muted by the cat now curling affectionately in the space between her arms. She scooped up Frumpkin and stepped back from the railing before gently dropping him onto the patio. “You know what I meant.”

“She was worried at your response,” he explained. “We all were. It is unlike you to lock yourself away like this.”

“That is more your thing, isn’t it?” Her voice was hard and cutting, more like the snide tone of their early interactions rather than the playful teasing they’d developed. But her posture told a different story, and it only took a moment for him to take in her hunched shoulders, crossed arms and gaze that didn’t quite meet his.

“Would you like to talk about it?”

Her expression hardened and he braced for a rejection, for her to tell him to fuck off and leave her alone. But then she slumped in defeat and slid down the wall next to the door leading into Yasha’s room. She looked small like that, reminding him of that night standing in her childhood home, and he didn’t like it.

“It’s my birthday.”

Of all of the things he’d expected her to say, that possibility hadn’t even crossed his mind. It took him a few seconds to process, to make sure he’d heard her correctly. “Your...birthday?”

“Yup. Tomorrow.”

“And you are...upset about it?” 

Her scowl deepened. “I’m not upset. Just...moody.”

Caleb’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Those are not the same thing?” She didn’t give him an answer, and after a few moments of heavy silence he sighed. Shuffling noisily, he positioned himself next to her and reached out toward the room beyond the now open door. A spectral hand carrying a mostly full plate of food drifted through the doorway, and Caleb plucked it from the air silently and set it down between them. She was stubborn, but so was he, and after nearly ten minutes of silence she relented and grabbed a strip of boar meat.

“How old are you turning?” he asked after she’d had a few bites.

“Uh...twenty-five.”

“Twenty-five,” he repeated. “I’m guessing old age isn’t what has you all...moody.” He attempted to mimic her inflection of the word and she winced.

“No.” She popped another hunk of meat in her mouth and chewed slowly and deliberately. “Just...bad memories, I guess.”

“Of home?”

She shrugged in response and didn’t say anything for a while. Between them the food gradually disappeared, and though they didn’t speak, Caleb sensed her mood had improved in the short time since his arrival. The silence offered him time to think, to plan, and by the time the last morsel vanished from the plate he was smiling.

“Beauregard?”

“Hmm?” She let Frumpkin lick her fingers clean before wiping them on her pants. 

“Will you do me a favor?”

“Sure.” She stretched the word awkwardly, trusting but confused. 

“Meet me out front tomorrow after breakfast.” He stood and scooped up the empty plate.

She scrambled to her feet much more quickly than he had, her movements graceful and smooth where he was strained. “What, why?”

“Just trust me.” He left her to her evening, instructing Frumpkin to remain behind as Beau once more took up her position against the railing.

The next day, just after breakfast, Caleb gathered everything he would need for the day and made his way toward the front door. The copper chimes clanged loudly, announcing his departure to the rest of the house. Beauregard was waiting outside, her shoulder leaning against one of the pillars.

“ _Guten morgen_ ,” he greeted, then pointed toward the front door. “I did not hear you leave.”

She jabbed a thumb upward. “Balcony.”

“Right. Well, we should be off.” He set off onto the streets of the Firmaments district, trusting that Beauregard would follow. Her footsteps were quick and quiet as she dashed to his side.

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.” 

She continued to annoy him for the entire walk, nagging him to get him to divulge their destination, but he remained stoic. As they turned a corner, however, her keen mind put together the clues and she groaned. “Dude, seriously? Why are we here?”

“Once, long ago, you took me to the Cobalt Soul Archives in Zadash and gave me access to research anything I wanted. And I know, despite that tough girl exterior you have on all the time, that you enjoy learning things as much as I do. So, for your birthday, I negotiated with Professor Waccoh for unfettered access to whatever you want to research for the next three hours.”

“Waccoh? Really?”

“Yes, really.” They entered the domed halls amid curious gazes, their footsteps echoing off the marble. Standing at the archway leading to one of the large libraries, Waccoh greeted them with an exasperated sigh.

“You’re late.”

“We are not,” Caleb retorted gently, “but thank you for this.”

Waccoh grumbled and turned her back to them. “Come on, then.” She led them to a table in the back corner of the enormous library and jabbed at the shelves absently. “Three hours.” And then she was gone.

Caleb turned to Beauregard expectantly. “So,” he began, “what would you like to know?”

“What?”

“This is for you,” he gestured broadly. “Consider me your research assistant for whatever knowledge you wish to gain.”

Her hard mask cracked ever so slightly at the prospect, and finally she smiled. “Anything I want?”

“Yes. I will even take notes for you,” he tapped his head with one finger.

“Let’s get started then.”

Three hours passed in near perfect harmony, with Caleb’s sharp mind committing every passage to memory as Beauregard sifted through her journal for any incomplete notes. Once they finished those, she moved on to anything that came to her mind, filling almost ten more pages of notes to be filled out more completely later from Caleb’s memory. Finally, just as they both stood to search for more books, Waccoh returned with a gleeful grin.

“Time’s up!” 

She shooed them out of the library with two of the Aurora Watch following at a leisurely pace. Caleb waved at the wild-haired half-orc lady and followed Beauregard back out onto the streets of the Firmament district. Instinctually Beau turned for home, but Caleb caught her arm and dragged her toward a side street that looked a little quieter.

“We are not done yet. Come.” He pulled out a raven feather from his robes and muttered a simple incantation. Instantly his entire body lightened and he could feel himself starting to lift from the ground. Next to him, Beau was practically vibrating with excitement; she loved to fly as much as he did, and together they took off into the eternal night sky of Rosohna. 

They spent nearly an hour doing loops and flips over the mountainous terrain east of the city. Caleb had to recast the spell to get them back home, so they decided to spend another thirty minutes racing each other through the clouds until they were both sore from laughter. Carefully avoiding too many curious gazes, they landed in a dingy alley behind a familiar tavern.

“I’m hungry,” Beau announced as Caleb dismissed the spell effects. “Let’s grab lunch.”

After a modest meal at the Dim’s Inn for old time’s sake, Beau leaned back in her seat and sighed. “Thanks, man. That was a pretty decent birthday gift, even though I think you might have gotten as much enjoyment out of it as I did.”

“More, probably,” he admitted. “But, then again, I am strange. But the day isn’t over. I have another surprise for you.”

“What is it?”

“If I told you, then it wouldn’t be a surprise, would it? Come on.” He paid the bill and led her out the door and toward the outer districts of Rosohna, away from the pristine, geometric lines of the center of the city. As they walked toward the Coronas, he changed their appearance to better blend in with the Xhorhasian society and they tucked their Bright Queen emblems away. 

Beauregard tapped his shoulder and angled her body to keep close to him as they walked side by side.“Dude, where are we going? This place looks super sketchy.”

“It is,” Caleb agreed. “At least, that was Essek’s warning. But this was the only place to find it.”

“Find what?”

The next street they turned on dead-ended into a tavern with a slanted roof and stained wooden walls. Even from a distance, the raucous from inside was audible, and as Caleb opened the door the sights and sounds of a rowdy crowd assaulted them. From somewhere further in, the sound of a fight drifted out over the shouts and jeers of nearly three dozen people all vying for the best vantage point.

As Beau took in the scene, Caleb watched her face shift from confusion to surprise to elation. “Dude, a fight club? This is awesome!”

“It gets better,” he promised, shoving through the back of the crowd toward a dark corner. Grabbing an empty tankard off a nearby table, he fetched a vial from within his coat and dumped its contents into the mug. “Hold this, don’t drink it yet.”

Beau took the mug and sniffed it, recoiling sharply. “What the fuck is it?”

“Makes you fast,” he mumbled. “Wait here.” He dashed off for a moment, returning with an empty coin purse and a grin. “You’re in the next fight. Let’s do this.” He brought out a few items from his component pouch. In the dark cover of their little corner, he cast several spells on her to give her as much of an advantage as he could. The first made her already impressive jumping skills that much better. The second hardened her skin and increased her resistance to damage. The third boosted her reaction time, ensuring she would land the first blow. Finally, he pulled out a small pearl and infused her with a small fragment of possibility. When the last of the dunamantic magic took hold, he stepped back and shoved the mug in her hand toward her mouth just as a loud booming voice called out from somewhere near the middle of the room.

“VERANNA THE LION!”

Caleb clapped her on the back and turned her toward the raised ring. “That’s you, Champ. Go kick someone’s ass.” Beau glared at him for a moment for the moniker he’d chosen, then the thrum of energy from the potion combined with the adrenaline coursing through her and the crowd parted as Beau zipped into the ring to face her opponent. 

She absolutely wiped the floor with the first guy thanks to Caleb’s boosts, but the second and third victory that came were almost solely hers. Caleb watched from a safe distance, shoving a veritable dragon’s hoard worth of healing potions at her between bouts and boosting her for a fourth fight that she barely won. By the fifth victory they knew they were pressing their luck, and Caleb gathered up the pile of winnings from the various bets he’d placed on her early fights and nodded for the door.

“We should go.”

They made it halfway to the door before their path was blocked by two figures. One of them—a half ogre with a bruised and bloodied face—stood with his arms crossed as the smaller drow man raised his chin in greeting. He spat something in Undercommon that Caleb didn’t understand, and ogre hocked a glob of blood onto the floor.

“Not really,” Beau cracked her knuckles absently and answered in Common, “but it’s time for us to go. Excuse us.”

Unaffected by her tone, the drow just sneered. “My friend thinks you cheated.”

“Yeah, well I’m not sure thinking is really his strong suit.”

“Beauregard,” Caleb whispered. “We need to leave.”

“Working on it,” she returned just as quietly before raising her chin defiantly at the drow. “Why don’t you and your friend go get a drink on me,” Beau dug into the heavy coin purse and pulled out five gold, “and we’ll be on our way.” As she spoke, Caleb watched them both carefully for any sign of attack. He slowly reached into his spell component pouch and pulled out a small, straight piece of iron just as the ogre’s swollen lips curled away from yellowish-green teeth. He didn’t need magic to recognize that things were about to get ugly, and while another fight would probably not bother Beauregard, he didn’t feel up to getting pummeled by giant fists. With a single word and a quick jab of his finger, both of their would-be assailants froze in place. 

“Let’s go!” He dashed around them as Beauregard followed, and the moment they were out in the street they ran. Mentally ticking down the duration of his spell, Caleb drew one more item from his pouch and grabbed Beauregard’s arm. Instantly they both vanished, and he maintained a hold on her as she veered off into a nearby alley. Huddling down against the wall, they waited only a moment before the two men burst out of the tavern and glanced around frantically.

They spoke in quiet, harsh tones before dashing off in a random direction, and Caleb and Beau waited a full ten minutes in the alley before they felt it was safe enough to emerge.

“Keep it up,” Beau told him. “They might have friends.” They walked quickly back toward the Firmaments, and Caleb kept up the invisibility until they could see Caduceus’ enormous tree rising above the rooftops. With the Xhorhaus in sight he dropped everything, returning them to their regular forms, and let out a huge sigh.

“Well, that was fun.”

“Hell yeah, it was!” Beau reached out and punched his shoulder, causing him to recoil and rub at the sore spot. “Thanks, man. That was a pretty good day.”

“It’s not over yet.” 

He reached for the brass handle, ignoring her questions as he pushed the door open and sending the chimes clanging loudly. The smell of a delicious meal filled the house, and Caleb led Beau back to the dining room wordlessly. The moment they rounded the corner, something loud and bright popped in the back corner as Veth set off some sort of firecracker.

“Happy Birthday!” 

The entire rest of the Nein surged forward as they shouted, each of them wearing some odd cone-shaped hat on their heads. Caleb sidestepped a rather enthusiastic Jester as she enveloped Beau in a giant bear hug, but as he tried to step away both of them reached out and tugged him back in. He didn’t get a chance to move again as Yasha, Veth and Fjord joined the huddle.

“You should have told us it was your birthday, Beau,” Jester chided. 

“Didn’t want to make it a big deal,” Beau grumbled, tossing a glare over her shoulder at Caleb for good measure. But there was no real heat behind it, and Caleb just smiled in return. They all disentangled from one another just as Caduceus entered holding a rather impressive three-tiered cake.

“Is this about right, Jester?”

“Oh, Caduceus!” Jester clapped her hands together and pushed Beau over to inspect the cake. “It’s perfect. Now we need some candles.”

“On it!” Veth began digging into her pockets, but Caleb reached out and stilled her hands.

“I think perhaps something that will not destroy the cake before we have a chance to eat it?”

Veth deflated a bit but obliged, pulled a regular (if lint-covered) candle from deep within the folds of her usual traveling pants. It was a bit large for the purpose, but Fjord cleaned it off and handed it over to Jester anyway. She placed it meticulously in the center of the top tier then grinned.

“Caleb, can you..?” She extended her finger and thumb and pointed them at the candle.

“Oh, ja.” It was an easy enough cantrip, one he’d learned when he was just fourteen, and as the flame ignited the wick Jester’s grin doubled.

“Make a wish, Beau! But don’t tell us because if you tell us it won’t come true.”

“Alright.” Beau closed her eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, then blew out the candle. 

“Good!” Jester pushed them all into chairs with a shooing motion. “Now we can eat it.”

Caduceus had outdone himself with the cake, stacking three different flavors atop each other so that everyone was happy. They ate so much cake that they ended up skipping dinner completely, though they did polish off the rest of the boar meat when Veth complained about the amount of sugar they’d all ingested. Finally they’d all had their fill, and even the thought of moving made Caleb moan in discomfort. 

Jester, however, seemed unaffected. “Time for presents!”

“Oh no,” Beau groaned. “Really, Jes, it’s not necessary.”

“Of course it is!” Jester countered. “Here, open mine first.” She thrust a brightly colored package into Beau’s hands, its pink wrapping covered almost entirely in doodled dicks. “We only had a day to find a gift, so don’t laugh, okay?” 

“Never,” Beau promised, tearing the paper away from what was obviously a frame of some kind. “Oh, Jes...it’s…” 

“It’s not really finished,” Jester explained, “so I’ll make it better, I promise.”

“Don’t you dare, it’s perfect.” She held up the frame so the others could see the picture Jester had drawn. It was a group portrait of all of them sitting around a campfire at the center of a clearing. They were laughing and talking, carefree and happy in each other’s company. Jester leaned forward and tapped her finger against a spot near one side where the moonlight overhead created just the faintest silhouette of a tall, horned figure with a long, flowing coat. He stood near the group but separate, his presence like a faithful guardian watching over them as they enjoyed their evening.

“I wanted to include everybody,” she said quietly, and Beau turned the picture back to peer closer at the figure.

“Oh,” Beau sniffed wetly, angling her face away to hide the tears that had gathered in her eyes. “Thanks, Jes.”

“Of course!” Jester enveloped Beau in another big hug and then danced back to her seat. “Who’s next?”

Beau spent the next few minutes opening thoughtful (if a bit last minute) gifts from the rest of her family. Caduceus had brewed her a special tea that would help with her meditations. Veth had acquired a set of fireworks from a merchant in Rosohna that had promised a light show to rival the warfront. Yasha had gone out and found an odd spinning wooden structure that she said was a practice tool for martial artists, and Beau spent a few moments playing with it until Fjord wanted a go and he managed to give himself a black eye. Sheepishly he handed over his own gift, a sort of IOU for an enchantment for her bo staff.

“I didn’t want to take it from your room without your permission,” he told her.

“Yeah, I would have kicked your ass,” Beau agreed, but thanked him for the gift anyway. “Thank you guys for this. I mean...I...it’s just…” She sighed heavily. “Birthdays suck, okay? But this one was pretty good. Best one in a while, actually. So, thank you.” Hasty speech concluded, she started to gather her gifts, but Caleb laid a hand on her shoulder gently.

“There is one more gift,” he told her. “This one is from all of us. I hope you don’t mind, but we had to utilize Essek’s knowledge in order to get it done in a day.” Beau was still wary around the drow, though things seemed to have quieted down since Essek had shown real and genuine attempts to atone for what he’d done.

At Caleb’s announcement, the other wizard drifted in holding a cloth-bound bundle held closed by a simple blue ribbon. He handed it to Beau with a silent nod of acknowledgement and turned to go.

“Wait,” Beau called after him. “There’s some cake left...if you want any.” She jabbed a thumb absently at the remains of Caduceus’ creation on the table. Essek paused and turned around, accepting her rather unconventional offer of peace, but didn’t come any closer. Content to remain at the edge of the moment, he leaned against the wall and watched as she carefully unwrapped the package.

It was a thick, leatherbound book stained a deep blue and engraved with the seal of the Cobalt Soul. The thin pages were blank, but as she flipped through them it was obvious that this was no ordinary journal. She glanced up and caught Caleb’s gaze, tilting her head sideways in question.

“It is a very unique book,” he confirmed. “The magic will keep creating pages as you write, so not even you and your extensive note-taking can fill it up.”

“Oh, wow, really?” She fanned through the pages again, admiring it in a different light. 

“Yes, really,” Caleb nodded. “And it acts like a bag of holding. While holding the book, if you think about a specific subject you have written about, it will open up to that exact page.”

“Yeah,” Fjord added, “ I mean, you take so many notes everywhere we go, and I know it’s saved our asses more than once.”

Jester licked a glob of icing from her finger. “Yeah, _plus_ I can draw, like, an infinite amount of dicks in that thing.”

Beau was grinning as she turned it over, opening the back cover to peer at the last page for a moment before slamming it shut. “Magic is so fucking cool.”

“Yes, it is,” Caleb agreed with a chuckle. 

“Thanks, everyone.” Beau scooped up most of her spoils and looked at her family gathered in the dining room. 

“Of course!” Jester said around her third helping of cake. “We love you, Beau!”

Beau cleared her throat awkwardly and shuffled her weight to her other foot. “Love you guys, too,” she answered hastily, rushing the words together before turning on her heel and dashing up the stairs to stash her new gifts, leaving the training apparatus sitting in the corner. She came back down a few seconds later and reclaimed her seat next to Caleb at the table. They watched their friends for a few moments, laughing at their antics and poor Essek’s futile attempts to avoid Jester’s enthusiasm. Finally, in a lull between Caduceus refilling their tea mugs and Fjord prying another firecracker from Veth’s hands, Caleb leaned over and nudged her with his elbow.

“So, how was your day?”

Without meeting his eyes, she shrugged one shoulder and leaned her head back against the headrest of the chair. “It was cool. How are you? You blew through a ton of spells today.”

It was Caleb’s turn to shrug. “Usually I am using that energy to fight off terrifying monsters and stay alive. Today I used it to have fun and make you happy. So, it was a good day.”

Beau cursed under her breath and shoved him gently. “Shut up.” She swiped surreptitiously at something on her far cheek and crossed her arms over her chest. “Seriously, though. Thanks...for all this.”

“Your birthday should be a happy occasion,” Caleb told her. “I’m just sorry that you had to wait twenty five years to experience a good one.”

Her smile wilted, though not enough to erase her mirth. “It was worth it.”

He snapped his fingers to summon Frumpkin, sending him to lay Beau’s lap with a contented purr. He curled his fingers into a loose fist and bumped her arm, then opened his hand and squeezed her shoulder warmly.

“Happy birthday, Beauregard.”


End file.
